Blogging Tips: Make Your Readers Feel Like Crap By Reminding Them How Much Richer and Cleverer and Betterer Than Them You Are

Stop with the negative blogging!

Blogging used to be a nice, friendly backwater where a load of lonely people told each other about their cats, children and gardens. Then, one rainy day, some Smart Alec came along and realised that they could make money by blogging. The blogosphere has been going downhill ever since. 


Instead of well meaning, albeit damn boring, posts and personal musings, now we are inundated by pro-blogger mailouts full of barely concealed affiliate links, ridiculous PDF eBooks, and insufferable, badly-filmed video tutorials. Worst of all, they are almost all as boring as the original blogs about cats!


There is one specific element of the pro-blogger industry that has got me in enough of a tizzy to get off the sofa and write a post of my own.


First, here is a spoof link to my own non-existent affiliate link. Click here, and don't get a completely stale and utterly useless PDF eBook!


Because most pro-bloggers and on-line marketers don't have any original ideas whatsoever, they tend to rely on dreadful content to attract suckers traffic. This tends to be in the form of articles with depressingly unoriginal titles containing such monuments to banality as "top ten ways to", "five reason why", and "are you making this mistake". 


Open one of these totems of triviality and you get reams of re-hashed old ideas, ridiculous suggestions, and patronising, bad advice. The future of in-bound marketing is in the hands of people who advise you "tidy up your desk to boost productivity", "blog regularly to increase traffic", "stop looking like an idiot by learning some grammar", and "avoid Elephantiasis by not having sex with pachyderms". That last one may not be a real quote, the first three come from my inbox today!


More insidious, and more damaging to the blogosphere in the long term, is the rising tide of negative in-bound marketing designed to prey on people's insecurities. 


Today's examples of this include the "stop looking like an idiot" quote mentioned above, and other gems such as "why most freelancers suck", and "the main reason why you are not earning as much as me".


There is, of course, a place for this sort of weasely negative content. 


THE BIN!! 


Negative inbound marketing may get you reads in the short term, as you stick hot knives into people's insecurities, and remind them of their inadequacies. However, any negativity has to be tempered with genuinely useful, highly original content. I don't mind being told that I am a lazy, messy, barely literate loser by a semi-anonymous blogger, provided that I get something worthwhile in return. In my book at least, being told to tidy my desk and learn how to use the semicolon doesn't really cut the mustard.


Constant negative blog posts and mailshots is in serious danger of ruining blogging for everyone. Wannabee pro bloggers seem to spend so much time leaving insincere comments on each other's posts that they forget that blogging only works if you have readers. Not everyone who reads a b log is a pro-blogger with an affiliate deal, or a PDF eBook-peddling weasel. 


It is time to move away from negative titles, preachy content, and the unrelenting drive towards conversions and profit. Stop telling me why I am inadequate! That is what my wife is for!!


If you agree with me, click here for a super-secret page. If you don't, click here for a super-secret page full of free PDF eBooks. 


Finally, click here if you knew that writing "click here" gets you 13% more conversions than writing "don't click here, it is poisonous".

How to Make A Gazzillion Dollars in Your Underwear

Does this remind you of SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru schemes?

There is one sure fire way of making a gazillion dollars while dressed in your underwear. All you have to do is look like Gisele Bundchen! If you don't then you may have to rely on your SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom to make your gazillions.  

Good luck with that!!

Or you could sit down and knock out some quality, insightful  web content and sell it to someone for proper money. 

Hard work ??? On-line!! Don't be ridiculous! Read a PDF eBook and got to bed without any supper!

It is perfectly possible to make a living sitting in your pants and working on-line. I know, I have been doing it on and off for nearly ten years! First I was a stock photographer and spent hours on Photoshop and now I am a budding on-line writer with a sideline in silly blogs. I wouldn't say I am making a living just from writing yet but my plan is unfolding nicely. Maybe I should write a PDF eBook about it and sell it on this website for 29.99!

 In fact I will! 

Click here for an exclusive preview of my PDF EBook called Making Gazillions by Sitting Around in your Underwear Doing Nothing Useful.

People making good money doing what they love rarely stop doing it for long enough to tell their potential competitors exactly how to copy them. Many proper writing opportunities are in niches and no sane writer is going to give up their contacts and techniques! 

Not for 29.99!!

There are notable and very wealthy exceptions to this like Problogger Darren Rowse who make their livings making money and then tell everyone else how to copy them. Most bona fide gurus arrived on the scene long before you and have far more energy, discipline and talent! You're a bit of waster with more dreams than drive!

How dare I judge you like this? 

Don't I know that you are a budding SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru with a PDF eBook on sale for 29.99? Yes I do! You and all the others with your tawdry, copycat Wordpress websites, Top Ten Tips twaddle and rehashed PDF eBooks. I know you are unlikely to become a gazillionaire because genuine SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger gurus are too busy counting their money and sailing their yachts to bother reading this rubbish. 

The fact that you are reading it means you aren't doing anything of real worth to increase your net value. 

You really should be you know!! 

Time is short and inflation is eating up your savings faster than a fat kid on a diet eats up a gingerbread house.

GET OFF MY BLOG AND DO SOME PROPER WORK!!!

Still here? 

Shame on you!! 

Why don't you do some Clickworker monkey work or write a decent, insightful article for Constant Content?

Can't be bothered? 

Try my amazing PDF eBook about Getting Something For Nothing By Tweeting About Garbage All Day Long. Click here to buy it for 29.99!

Really, just go away now, I'm sick of the sight of you. 

If you are still reading this then there is something wrong with you!!!! 

This spoof blog about Making Money Blogging About Making Money Blogging  is designed to burst the bubble of silliness that surrounds the whole "sell PDF eBooks and become an affiliate marketing on-line guru" industry. Not everyone can be a gazzillionaire by selling PDF EBooks and affiliate marketing tools. 

Each bona fide guru needs an army of acolytes to buy their stuff. If each accolyte has their own army of sub-acolytes then the sub-accolytes need armies of sub-sub-accolytes to keep the ball rolling. 

Starting to see a problem yet?? Within about four generations there need to be more PDF EBooks in existence than there are atoms in the universe

ITS

A DAMN

PYRAMID SCHEME!! 

Like the one Bernie Madoff ran in New York!!

Sadly, you are too close to the bottom of the pyramid to earn back the money you spend on PDF eBooks that teach you how to sell PDF eBooks by selling PDF eBooks to other people who want to learn how to make money selling PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to  ......

Oh, Sod it!! You get the message!

GET A PROPER JOB or WRITE DECENT ON-LINE CONTENT FOR MONEY

What's the bloody point?

Why are you still here?

Weirdo!

Click here right now and win a guaranteed Gazillion dollars-worth of free PDF eBooks.