Make Millions Selling Weasel Juice To Suckers

Juice a weasel for good health every day

The weasel (Mustela nivalis) is a small and graceful creature that inhabits the hedgerows of the British and European countryside. It is common but crafty, and difficult to capture. The weasel's guile has served it well because country folk have hunted it for centuries thanks to the amazing curative properties of its juice.



Did you know that miracle weasel blood is mentioned in Shakespeare?



In Hamlet, when the tragic hero is crashing about with a hangover he screams, "my kingdom, my kingdom for a weasel smoothie".



Get into the Weasel Zone!


The weasel zone is the popular name for the blissed-out state you sink into after drinking a glass of weasel juice. Sink back and feel the powerful antioxidants purge your blood and polish your bones. Tumours vanish, kidney stones dissolve, finger nails sparkle and hands shrink as the powerful, natural chemicals in weasel juice rebalance your system.



Buy British weasel juice today and help keep our country traditions alive. Did you know that country folk are now so endangered that only three people still speak Wisewomanese? 


With globalisation on our doorstep isn't it nice to know that you can contribute to Britain's heritage by supporting a local industry. Buy weasel juice here today and save Britain and its endangered traditions!


The health benefits of weasel juice are immeasurable. There is so much power in a single weasel that when a laboratory tested our products it exploded and cured every case of cancer within six miles!


Here are the Top Five Reasons to Get Into Weasel Juice Right Now


Appetite Suppression: Drink the pure juice of a raw weasel and you won't feel like eating again for hours. Have you ever seen a fat weasel? No? That is because weasels can eat whatever they want whenever they want because they are made of weasel juice.


Antioxidants: Weasels are so high in anthocyanins, cyanoanthocins and cinoanthocyans that the laboratory that first tested the juice exploded. 


Anti-Ageing: Get one of your five a day from weasel juice and not only will your skin get younger but you hands will shrink back to baby size.


Arthritis Cure: Weasel-juice relieves joint pain and cures arthritis. That is why the druids never had arthritis.


Anti-cancer: Nobody in the jungle ever gets cancer because they all eat weasels every day. In fact, it is all they eat!


WOW! Five top health benefits of Weasels and still on "A"


Here are some more:


High Fibre: Juice your weasel unpeeled and the fur and bones will keep you regular as the summer solstice. 


Essential Fatty Acids: There are as many essential fatty acids in a glass of freshly-squeezed weasel juice as there are in a whole ocean of cod's livers. 


Eliminate Toxins: Weasel juice is mildly purgative so a full glass will cleanse your body of all those nasty toxins that lurk behind your pituitary. There is nothing like a cold glass of pure weasel juice followed by seven house or projectile vomiting to cleanse your system.


Cleanse your colon: Weasels are not just for juicing. Instead of paying for expensive colonic irrigation just pop a couple of live weasels up there overnight for a thorough cleanse. 




Don't just believe us. Here are what some of our customers are saying about this innovative, never before sold product that you can be the first to own:


Mandy from Dagestan says "Thanks to your amazing colon cleansing weasel product I no longer have occasional digestive discomfort. Also, your weasel weight loss program and weasel diet tips have changed my life. I feel so much more confident now that I have a weasel in my colon. Thank you so much, you guys are great".


Mickey from Disney says "I'm walking and talking weasel to everybody and anybody that will listen! Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to get out there and tell the entire world just how wonderful weasels really are. I still don’t believe it! All these stressful years of digestive discomfort problems have come to an end in just a few short days thanks to the weasel in my ass. I have basically addressed the worst part of my life with a weasel. Thanks a million weasels!"

Mitt from Utah says: Well, I'm happy to say that I was introduced to wonderful weasel juice drinks and my blood work went back to normal in sixty days. My chronic hip and knee pain is gone thanks to the injections of weasel serum. Weasels have changed my life!!

Victoria from London W1 says: "Adding weasel juice to my regime of rodent-based supplements has extended my lifespan by over 120 years. I plan to use some sort of weasel product for the rest of eternity. And, I have lost 20 pounds in the last ten days thanks to weasel-therapy".



Jump on-board the latest health food juggernaut before it leaves town. The supply of weasels is limited and you may not be able to buy them for long! 


Weasels are long and thin and stack up perfectly in the freezer. Stock up on weasels now before they go extinct!!!! Get your weasel deal today.


Buy a month-long supply of freeze-dried weasels and get another month free. Our weasels are high in antioxidants and vitamins because we freeze-dry them in the hedgerows with a out patent-pending WeaselFreezer device. Don't pay good money for inferior weasels or cheap stoats as they will not make you live for ever.


Get your weasels here today and get into the:

Weasel Zone

Here at the weasel Institiute For Public Health our weasel scientists are constantly studying the A-AMAZING weasel and creating new products for our weasel sales team to sell. We are always looking for weasel SEO network marketing affiliates to sell our weasel products to the public. Get in on this opportunity to be a weasel partner right now.

All the other Interweb gazillionaires will laugh at you unless you have Ads for weasel juice all over your website. The race is on to produce the first PDF eBook about the miracle weight loss properties of Weasel Juice.

Don't get stuck in the past selling yesterday's acai berries. All the suckers know by now that they don't work! 

Sign up for our Weasel Affiliate Club today and get a free weasel with every weasel order you can weasel up. 

Get Rich By Selling 100 Trillion EBooks

How does the economics of the perpetual-motion, you-buy-my-eBook-and-I'll-buy-yours market work? Is it a sustainable business model that adds to the wealth of the Planet or an absurd merry-go-round that only Charles Ponzi could be proud of?

Let's have a look at the figures of a typical PDF eBook. Even better, let's use mine. My A-AMAZING EBook is called How To Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks. You can but it here for the A-AMAZING price 0f 29.99.

BUY MY ABSURD PDF eBOOK HERE NOW TODAY

FOR 29.99

Let's say I need to sell 100 PDF EBooks a month in order to make a living. That means that 100 people who are interested in Making Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks now know the secrets of my success. Because my eBook is so A-AMAZING they instantly sit down and spend 45 minutes researching and writing their own eBook. The most enterprising ones just change the cover and resell my eBook.

There are 100 people selling eBooks. To make 3000 dollars per month each they need to sell 100 eBooks each for 29.99. That's 10,000 eBooks.

Armed with the knowledge about how to Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks these 10,000 people all write an eBook of their own. To make a living thy need to sell 100 eBooks each.

That's One million EBooks

To illustrate the absurdity of the PDF eBooks market here is a useful graphic:

1

100

10000

1000000

100000000

10000000000

1000000000000

100000000000000

10000000000000000

1000000000000000000

100000000000000000000

10000000000000000000000 

1000000000000000000000000

100000000000000000000000000
EBOOKS  ARE  A  PYRAMID  SCHEME 

Unless you are pretty damn close to the top of the pyramid you don't stand a chance. Or you have an original idea! But then why would you waste that on a PDF eBook for 29.99.

This blog is lazy, cynical satire! If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

Get Rich With a PDF EBook Full of Waffle and Lettuce

Starting an e-book business is easy! It's so easy that even I could do it in next to no time whatever at all in my spare time for seventeen minutes a day.

I never even planned to have a best-selling PDF eBook. One day I woke up with an idea and just wrote one. There was no need for research because this is the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru industry and nobody needs new information or ideas.

Writing my best selling PDF eBook was the easiest thing I have ever done. I did it before breakfast while brushing my teeth and stroking the cat.

The next thing I knew my PDF eBook called Making Money Before Breakfast While Brushing your Teeth and Stroking the Cat was a best-seller and I was a gazillionaire.

Next, I did waht every SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru does and wrote another eBook with exactly the same stuff in as the first one but another title. I called it How to Make More Money While Cutting Your Toenails and Tickling the Giraffe.

Imagine my shock when nobody wanted to buy me second eBook. I decided that I needed to research the market and went straight to Google. Ten minutes later I had my answer! My second eBook was a flop because everyone in the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru niche had given up selling each other PDF eBooks and gone off to find real jobs.

There was only one thing I could do! 

I wrote a PDF eBook about the lack of people wanting to buy PDF eBooks and how to turn this knowledge in to gazillions of dollars.

Nobody bought it!

Now I work for Burger King!!

Are you in a similar position? Has your PDF eBook gurudom dream disappeared? Are you washing lettuce and fantasising about the next get rich quick scheme? If you are, what you need is my PDF eBook called How to Turn Washing Lettuce into a Gazzillion Dollars Using only PDF ebooks!

Buy it now for 29.99 here now for today only at the A-AMAZING price of 29.99.

This article is lazy, cynical satire! I didn't even need to write it! I just cut and pasted it from one of a gazillion websites about making money from PDF eBooks and pimped it up a bit. If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

How to Make A Gazzillion Dollars in Your Underwear

Does this remind you of SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru schemes?

There is one sure fire way of making a gazillion dollars while dressed in your underwear. All you have to do is look like Gisele Bundchen! If you don't then you may have to rely on your SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom to make your gazillions.  

Good luck with that!!

Or you could sit down and knock out some quality, insightful  web content and sell it to someone for proper money. 

Hard work ??? On-line!! Don't be ridiculous! Read a PDF eBook and got to bed without any supper!

It is perfectly possible to make a living sitting in your pants and working on-line. I know, I have been doing it on and off for nearly ten years! First I was a stock photographer and spent hours on Photoshop and now I am a budding on-line writer with a sideline in silly blogs. I wouldn't say I am making a living just from writing yet but my plan is unfolding nicely. Maybe I should write a PDF eBook about it and sell it on this website for 29.99!

 In fact I will! 

Click here for an exclusive preview of my PDF EBook called Making Gazillions by Sitting Around in your Underwear Doing Nothing Useful.

People making good money doing what they love rarely stop doing it for long enough to tell their potential competitors exactly how to copy them. Many proper writing opportunities are in niches and no sane writer is going to give up their contacts and techniques! 

Not for 29.99!!

There are notable and very wealthy exceptions to this like Problogger Darren Rowse who make their livings making money and then tell everyone else how to copy them. Most bona fide gurus arrived on the scene long before you and have far more energy, discipline and talent! You're a bit of waster with more dreams than drive!

How dare I judge you like this? 

Don't I know that you are a budding SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru with a PDF eBook on sale for 29.99? Yes I do! You and all the others with your tawdry, copycat Wordpress websites, Top Ten Tips twaddle and rehashed PDF eBooks. I know you are unlikely to become a gazillionaire because genuine SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger gurus are too busy counting their money and sailing their yachts to bother reading this rubbish. 

The fact that you are reading it means you aren't doing anything of real worth to increase your net value. 

You really should be you know!! 

Time is short and inflation is eating up your savings faster than a fat kid on a diet eats up a gingerbread house.

GET OFF MY BLOG AND DO SOME PROPER WORK!!!

Still here? 

Shame on you!! 

Why don't you do some Clickworker monkey work or write a decent, insightful article for Constant Content?

Can't be bothered? 

Try my amazing PDF eBook about Getting Something For Nothing By Tweeting About Garbage All Day Long. Click here to buy it for 29.99!

Really, just go away now, I'm sick of the sight of you. 

If you are still reading this then there is something wrong with you!!!! 

This spoof blog about Making Money Blogging About Making Money Blogging  is designed to burst the bubble of silliness that surrounds the whole "sell PDF eBooks and become an affiliate marketing on-line guru" industry. Not everyone can be a gazzillionaire by selling PDF EBooks and affiliate marketing tools. 

Each bona fide guru needs an army of acolytes to buy their stuff. If each accolyte has their own army of sub-acolytes then the sub-accolytes need armies of sub-sub-accolytes to keep the ball rolling. 

Starting to see a problem yet?? Within about four generations there need to be more PDF EBooks in existence than there are atoms in the universe

ITS

A DAMN

PYRAMID SCHEME!! 

Like the one Bernie Madoff ran in New York!!

Sadly, you are too close to the bottom of the pyramid to earn back the money you spend on PDF eBooks that teach you how to sell PDF eBooks by selling PDF eBooks to other people who want to learn how to make money selling PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to  ......

Oh, Sod it!! You get the message!

GET A PROPER JOB or WRITE DECENT ON-LINE CONTENT FOR MONEY

What's the bloody point?

Why are you still here?

Weirdo!

Click here right now and win a guaranteed Gazillion dollars-worth of free PDF eBooks.