Make Millions Selling Weasel Juice To Suckers

Juice a weasel for good health every day

The weasel (Mustela nivalis) is a small and graceful creature that inhabits the hedgerows of the British and European countryside. It is common but crafty, and difficult to capture. The weasel's guile has served it well because country folk have hunted it for centuries thanks to the amazing curative properties of its juice.



Did you know that miracle weasel blood is mentioned in Shakespeare?



In Hamlet, when the tragic hero is crashing about with a hangover he screams, "my kingdom, my kingdom for a weasel smoothie".



Get into the Weasel Zone!


The weasel zone is the popular name for the blissed-out state you sink into after drinking a glass of weasel juice. Sink back and feel the powerful antioxidants purge your blood and polish your bones. Tumours vanish, kidney stones dissolve, finger nails sparkle and hands shrink as the powerful, natural chemicals in weasel juice rebalance your system.



Buy British weasel juice today and help keep our country traditions alive. Did you know that country folk are now so endangered that only three people still speak Wisewomanese? 


With globalisation on our doorstep isn't it nice to know that you can contribute to Britain's heritage by supporting a local industry. Buy weasel juice here today and save Britain and its endangered traditions!


The health benefits of weasel juice are immeasurable. There is so much power in a single weasel that when a laboratory tested our products it exploded and cured every case of cancer within six miles!


Here are the Top Five Reasons to Get Into Weasel Juice Right Now


Appetite Suppression: Drink the pure juice of a raw weasel and you won't feel like eating again for hours. Have you ever seen a fat weasel? No? That is because weasels can eat whatever they want whenever they want because they are made of weasel juice.


Antioxidants: Weasels are so high in anthocyanins, cyanoanthocins and cinoanthocyans that the laboratory that first tested the juice exploded. 


Anti-Ageing: Get one of your five a day from weasel juice and not only will your skin get younger but you hands will shrink back to baby size.


Arthritis Cure: Weasel-juice relieves joint pain and cures arthritis. That is why the druids never had arthritis.


Anti-cancer: Nobody in the jungle ever gets cancer because they all eat weasels every day. In fact, it is all they eat!


WOW! Five top health benefits of Weasels and still on "A"


Here are some more:


High Fibre: Juice your weasel unpeeled and the fur and bones will keep you regular as the summer solstice. 


Essential Fatty Acids: There are as many essential fatty acids in a glass of freshly-squeezed weasel juice as there are in a whole ocean of cod's livers. 


Eliminate Toxins: Weasel juice is mildly purgative so a full glass will cleanse your body of all those nasty toxins that lurk behind your pituitary. There is nothing like a cold glass of pure weasel juice followed by seven house or projectile vomiting to cleanse your system.


Cleanse your colon: Weasels are not just for juicing. Instead of paying for expensive colonic irrigation just pop a couple of live weasels up there overnight for a thorough cleanse. 




Don't just believe us. Here are what some of our customers are saying about this innovative, never before sold product that you can be the first to own:


Mandy from Dagestan says "Thanks to your amazing colon cleansing weasel product I no longer have occasional digestive discomfort. Also, your weasel weight loss program and weasel diet tips have changed my life. I feel so much more confident now that I have a weasel in my colon. Thank you so much, you guys are great".


Mickey from Disney says "I'm walking and talking weasel to everybody and anybody that will listen! Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to get out there and tell the entire world just how wonderful weasels really are. I still don’t believe it! All these stressful years of digestive discomfort problems have come to an end in just a few short days thanks to the weasel in my ass. I have basically addressed the worst part of my life with a weasel. Thanks a million weasels!"

Mitt from Utah says: Well, I'm happy to say that I was introduced to wonderful weasel juice drinks and my blood work went back to normal in sixty days. My chronic hip and knee pain is gone thanks to the injections of weasel serum. Weasels have changed my life!!

Victoria from London W1 says: "Adding weasel juice to my regime of rodent-based supplements has extended my lifespan by over 120 years. I plan to use some sort of weasel product for the rest of eternity. And, I have lost 20 pounds in the last ten days thanks to weasel-therapy".



Jump on-board the latest health food juggernaut before it leaves town. The supply of weasels is limited and you may not be able to buy them for long! 


Weasels are long and thin and stack up perfectly in the freezer. Stock up on weasels now before they go extinct!!!! Get your weasel deal today.


Buy a month-long supply of freeze-dried weasels and get another month free. Our weasels are high in antioxidants and vitamins because we freeze-dry them in the hedgerows with a out patent-pending WeaselFreezer device. Don't pay good money for inferior weasels or cheap stoats as they will not make you live for ever.


Get your weasels here today and get into the:

Weasel Zone

Here at the weasel Institiute For Public Health our weasel scientists are constantly studying the A-AMAZING weasel and creating new products for our weasel sales team to sell. We are always looking for weasel SEO network marketing affiliates to sell our weasel products to the public. Get in on this opportunity to be a weasel partner right now.

All the other Interweb gazillionaires will laugh at you unless you have Ads for weasel juice all over your website. The race is on to produce the first PDF eBook about the miracle weight loss properties of Weasel Juice.

Don't get stuck in the past selling yesterday's acai berries. All the suckers know by now that they don't work! 

Sign up for our Weasel Affiliate Club today and get a free weasel with every weasel order you can weasel up. 

Get Rich By Selling 100 Trillion EBooks

How does the economics of the perpetual-motion, you-buy-my-eBook-and-I'll-buy-yours market work? Is it a sustainable business model that adds to the wealth of the Planet or an absurd merry-go-round that only Charles Ponzi could be proud of?

Let's have a look at the figures of a typical PDF eBook. Even better, let's use mine. My A-AMAZING EBook is called How To Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks. You can but it here for the A-AMAZING price 0f 29.99.

BUY MY ABSURD PDF eBOOK HERE NOW TODAY

FOR 29.99

Let's say I need to sell 100 PDF EBooks a month in order to make a living. That means that 100 people who are interested in Making Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks now know the secrets of my success. Because my eBook is so A-AMAZING they instantly sit down and spend 45 minutes researching and writing their own eBook. The most enterprising ones just change the cover and resell my eBook.

There are 100 people selling eBooks. To make 3000 dollars per month each they need to sell 100 eBooks each for 29.99. That's 10,000 eBooks.

Armed with the knowledge about how to Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks these 10,000 people all write an eBook of their own. To make a living thy need to sell 100 eBooks each.

That's One million EBooks

To illustrate the absurdity of the PDF eBooks market here is a useful graphic:

1

100

10000

1000000

100000000

10000000000

1000000000000

100000000000000

10000000000000000

1000000000000000000

100000000000000000000

10000000000000000000000 

1000000000000000000000000

100000000000000000000000000
EBOOKS  ARE  A  PYRAMID  SCHEME 

Unless you are pretty damn close to the top of the pyramid you don't stand a chance. Or you have an original idea! But then why would you waste that on a PDF eBook for 29.99.

This blog is lazy, cynical satire! If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

Get Rich With a PDF EBook Full of Waffle and Lettuce

Starting an e-book business is easy! It's so easy that even I could do it in next to no time whatever at all in my spare time for seventeen minutes a day.

I never even planned to have a best-selling PDF eBook. One day I woke up with an idea and just wrote one. There was no need for research because this is the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru industry and nobody needs new information or ideas.

Writing my best selling PDF eBook was the easiest thing I have ever done. I did it before breakfast while brushing my teeth and stroking the cat.

The next thing I knew my PDF eBook called Making Money Before Breakfast While Brushing your Teeth and Stroking the Cat was a best-seller and I was a gazillionaire.

Next, I did waht every SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru does and wrote another eBook with exactly the same stuff in as the first one but another title. I called it How to Make More Money While Cutting Your Toenails and Tickling the Giraffe.

Imagine my shock when nobody wanted to buy me second eBook. I decided that I needed to research the market and went straight to Google. Ten minutes later I had my answer! My second eBook was a flop because everyone in the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru niche had given up selling each other PDF eBooks and gone off to find real jobs.

There was only one thing I could do! 

I wrote a PDF eBook about the lack of people wanting to buy PDF eBooks and how to turn this knowledge in to gazillions of dollars.

Nobody bought it!

Now I work for Burger King!!

Are you in a similar position? Has your PDF eBook gurudom dream disappeared? Are you washing lettuce and fantasising about the next get rich quick scheme? If you are, what you need is my PDF eBook called How to Turn Washing Lettuce into a Gazzillion Dollars Using only PDF ebooks!

Buy it now for 29.99 here now for today only at the A-AMAZING price of 29.99.

This article is lazy, cynical satire! I didn't even need to write it! I just cut and pasted it from one of a gazillion websites about making money from PDF eBooks and pimped it up a bit. If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

How to Make A Gazzillion Dollars in Your Underwear

Does this remind you of SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru schemes?

There is one sure fire way of making a gazillion dollars while dressed in your underwear. All you have to do is look like Gisele Bundchen! If you don't then you may have to rely on your SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom to make your gazillions.  

Good luck with that!!

Or you could sit down and knock out some quality, insightful  web content and sell it to someone for proper money. 

Hard work ??? On-line!! Don't be ridiculous! Read a PDF eBook and got to bed without any supper!

It is perfectly possible to make a living sitting in your pants and working on-line. I know, I have been doing it on and off for nearly ten years! First I was a stock photographer and spent hours on Photoshop and now I am a budding on-line writer with a sideline in silly blogs. I wouldn't say I am making a living just from writing yet but my plan is unfolding nicely. Maybe I should write a PDF eBook about it and sell it on this website for 29.99!

 In fact I will! 

Click here for an exclusive preview of my PDF EBook called Making Gazillions by Sitting Around in your Underwear Doing Nothing Useful.

People making good money doing what they love rarely stop doing it for long enough to tell their potential competitors exactly how to copy them. Many proper writing opportunities are in niches and no sane writer is going to give up their contacts and techniques! 

Not for 29.99!!

There are notable and very wealthy exceptions to this like Problogger Darren Rowse who make their livings making money and then tell everyone else how to copy them. Most bona fide gurus arrived on the scene long before you and have far more energy, discipline and talent! You're a bit of waster with more dreams than drive!

How dare I judge you like this? 

Don't I know that you are a budding SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger guru with a PDF eBook on sale for 29.99? Yes I do! You and all the others with your tawdry, copycat Wordpress websites, Top Ten Tips twaddle and rehashed PDF eBooks. I know you are unlikely to become a gazillionaire because genuine SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger gurus are too busy counting their money and sailing their yachts to bother reading this rubbish. 

The fact that you are reading it means you aren't doing anything of real worth to increase your net value. 

You really should be you know!! 

Time is short and inflation is eating up your savings faster than a fat kid on a diet eats up a gingerbread house.

GET OFF MY BLOG AND DO SOME PROPER WORK!!!

Still here? 

Shame on you!! 

Why don't you do some Clickworker monkey work or write a decent, insightful article for Constant Content?

Can't be bothered? 

Try my amazing PDF eBook about Getting Something For Nothing By Tweeting About Garbage All Day Long. Click here to buy it for 29.99!

Really, just go away now, I'm sick of the sight of you. 

If you are still reading this then there is something wrong with you!!!! 

This spoof blog about Making Money Blogging About Making Money Blogging  is designed to burst the bubble of silliness that surrounds the whole "sell PDF eBooks and become an affiliate marketing on-line guru" industry. Not everyone can be a gazzillionaire by selling PDF EBooks and affiliate marketing tools. 

Each bona fide guru needs an army of acolytes to buy their stuff. If each accolyte has their own army of sub-acolytes then the sub-accolytes need armies of sub-sub-accolytes to keep the ball rolling. 

Starting to see a problem yet?? Within about four generations there need to be more PDF EBooks in existence than there are atoms in the universe

ITS

A DAMN

PYRAMID SCHEME!! 

Like the one Bernie Madoff ran in New York!!

Sadly, you are too close to the bottom of the pyramid to earn back the money you spend on PDF eBooks that teach you how to sell PDF eBooks by selling PDF eBooks to other people who want to learn how to make money selling PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to people who want to learn how to sell PDF eBooks to  ......

Oh, Sod it!! You get the message!

GET A PROPER JOB or WRITE DECENT ON-LINE CONTENT FOR MONEY

What's the bloody point?

Why are you still here?

Weirdo!

Click here right now and win a guaranteed Gazillion dollars-worth of free PDF eBooks.

My First Affiliate Email

I received this email from a very nice man in Entebeland. In it he explains how his article spinning company can provide me with SEO-optimized web content every day for almost nothing. 

It's such good value I am considering leaving my entire future in Mr Popoy's hands and spending the rest of the day on the beach reading all those limited edition PDF eBooks I bought for special one-off prices yesterday!

Dear Make Money Blogging About Making Money Blogging,

My name is Semolina Popoy and I am flatulent English sneaker and articule writer from Entebeland. I and my team of seventeen articule writters are awaiting ready your inspections for deleveraging tope qualitee SEO opterized contented four you.

We are veey profession and make one articule a thousand with patternated Entebeland spinning jenny machin of A-AMAZING property. Outscour your articule writting two us and reflux in the knawledge that SEO opterized websick whizzing to you by thermometer ASOP.

We are dehoovering your contented four A-AMAZING prick or juist 0.50 kents pert 400 werds. Stare this deal other broggers and we pray you tenty poocent towel disorder and spend you A-AMAZING PDF EBook about SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom compretey tree of charge. Secretivity impotent!

Yoors fitfully and skincerely,

Semolina Popoy

What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work

The path to SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF Ebook guruland

Are you down to your last 29.99 and no closer to making it as a professional blogger and PDF ebook writer? Does no-one read your tweets or care about your Top Tips posts? Are you so disillusioned by the whole industry that you are considering doing something desperate?

Sometimes it is easy to forget that money grows on trees and that you are only one more Facebook friend away from becoming a six figure blogger with a successful line of PDF ebooks and a beautiful girlfriend. In the darkest moments just before you finally crack the SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook market and make your first gazillion dollars you may be tempted by the dark side.

So many budding SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurus have been lost to temptation! It starts with self doubt and growing debts and slowly ramps up until you feel that you have no alternative but to succumb. Once you step over the threshold there is no going back!

If you find yourself in this position take action fast and click here buy my PDF EBook called:  

What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work.

This is such a fundamental part of SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom that I am willing to reveal the contents of the first page free of charge to buy you enough time to spend your last few dollars on my PDF eBook before you have to sit down and do some proper paid work!

Chapter One of What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work

If you ever feel like getting a real job, doing some proper paid work or writing some quality content then quickly do one of the following:

1) Read ten blog posts by top pro-blogger network affiliate marketing on-line gurus to remind yourself how easy it is to be a gazillionaire by doing no work at all and just messing around on Facebook.

2) Write a PDF ebook about your experiences and create a niche blog to sell it from. Spend some of your last 29.99 dollars on dismal, badly written content stuffed with SEO keywords for your niche blog.

3) Buy my PDF ebook about What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work. It is on sale here today for 19.99 just because you are in desperate need and I want to help you. I love you man!

Buy my PDF ebook about What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work by clicking on this link right now before it is too late!

Top Tips About Writing Top Tips Articles

God help me! Not another top ten tips article!

The “Top Tips About” or “Best Ways To” article format is so common that everyone is sick to death of it. That doesn’t stop dozens of new versions appearing every day. Now that there are so many of them on the Internet you don’t even have to rehash your own boring, predictable tips. Just Google "Top Tips" for your niche and copy someone else’s feeble ideas!

Here are my top five tips for writing depressingly unoriginal top tips articles that make your readers want to cover themselves in mince and throw themselves into a tiger pit.

1) Never just write five tips if you do an article titled Top Five Tips. Always include a really irritating sixth tip. That way when the reader thinks that the pain is finally over they get a final slap in the face.

2) Spend no time thinking of original tips for your niche as your readers are not looking for interesting content. They will actually thank you for rehashing other people’s bad ideas and claiming them as your own.

3) Never include any detail in your top tips articles. Readers want them to be short and superficial with no content of genuine interest. You hardly have to bother about the last two as nobody reads that far anyway.

4) Be really original and witty and clever by reinventing the format and using letters instead of numbers.

5) This tip is rubbish because it is the last one and I am tired now and bored and don’t want to write any more.

6) Tip number six: IN YOUR FACE!!

Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging

The path to making money blogging about writing about making money blogging

Are you tired of sitting on the sofa watching TV and dreaming of being a gazillionaire? Do you feel like there is a genius just waiting to burst out of you if only someone would tell you how? Can you imagine yourself on a yacht in the Caribbean surrounded by beautiful people, champagne and platinum-plated accolades? Do you want all this and more but really can’t be bothered to go out and get it for yourself?

Well, you are not alone! Three weeks ago I was also sitting on my ragged old sofa watching my tiny television and dreaming of being rich and successful. Now I am a six figure blogger!! That’s right, I earn six figures or 100000 (not necessarily in that exact order) per month for only seventeen minutes work a day (16 if you don’t count brushing my teeth).

I make six figures a month thanks to my amazing blog called Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging. It is all about Making Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging. 

My blog has literally dozens of subscribers, three Facebook friends and an amazing two retweets. It is the 11,234th most popular blog in the crowded making money blogging by blogging about making money blogging niche. I am a GURU

Are you impressed? 

You should be! 

I’m A-AMAZING!!

Now you can too can be A-AMAZING with my awesomely A-AMAZING PDF eBook about Making Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging.

The truth is that I am so A-AMAZING and rich that I don’t need to keep my A-AMAZING secrets secret any more and I am going to share them with the world. Now everybody can have an A-AMAZING money-spinning blog about Making Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging.

Before I bang on some more about my supercalifragilisticexpialidocious success and my A-AMAZING Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging blog let me tell you a little bit about myself and my arduous three-week journey from y-front wearing, basement dwelling nobody to A-AMAZING affiliate network marketing on-line guru six figure eBook blogger.

I´M A-MAZING!

That is all you need to know! Now, back to my PDF eBOOK of A-MAZINGNESS. 

All six pages of my Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging PDF ebook contain unoriginal insights about making money blogging about writing about making money blogging. These insights are so tawdry and insignificant that nobody has ever put them into a PDF eBook before. 

That means my PDF eBook is unique and of course A-AMAZING

In order to write my A-AMAZING PDF eBook I spend literally a whole morning on the internet and trawled through almost all of the top page of Google results for “make money blogging” I then spent 45 minutes condensing a tiny amount of tired, out-of-date information into the six pages of my A-AMAZING PDF eBook called Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging. 

All you need to do to become a gazillionaire and work for only seventeen minutes a day is buy my A-AMAZING PDF eBook about Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging.

Normally this hugely popular PDF eBook costs 499 dollars and 99 cents. Today it is on sale for one day only for the A-AMAZING price of 29.99 just for you because you are you, and I love you man. 

This never to be repeated, super-special, one day only, once-off, mega-awesome price is available only today and only for you.

Get the secrets of my so-called success today for this A-AMAZING price and I will throw in a second PDF eBook completely free of charge. 



BUY IT NOW
 
Buy Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging right now and get this second PDF eBook called All the Crap I Left Out of Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging absolutely free.

That's right! Two rehashed, unoriginal not to mention tawdry and tiresome PDF eBooks for the price of one.

Click here now to buy them now!

Buy my PDF eBook today and if you are not completely satisfied we will return your money via a cheque from our parent company So You Have A Sexually Transmitted Disease LTD. How's that for peace of mind.

Buy my PDF eBooks Now

Get off the sofa for long enough to order my A-AMAZING PDF eBook and your dreams will come true. Read my PDF eBook today and money will fall out of the sky while angels sing just for you. 


Click here to buy my A-AMAZING PDF eBook Make Money Blogging About Writing About Making Money Blogging.