My Journal of Awesomeness: Scribble Your Way to Succces With Banality

This is the first entry in my new Journal of Awesomeness! 

Never heard of one? Get ready to be amazed! This is sliced bread, with a Higgs Boson on top!

A journal of awesomeness is a book you write in every day to remind yourself of how awesome and A-MAZING you are. 


I already known that I'm A-Mahazing. Now I can be AWESOME too!

The Journal of Awesomeness comes from a really, really silly blog. I saw it mentioned in a breakfast tweet, and nearly choked on my yoghurt. I didn't though, so I wrote that down in my journal. 


"Dear diary, today I didn't choke. I'm AWESOME!".


I felt better straight away!


This really works!

At last, after years of depression, angst, soul-searching and false starts, the answer suddenly becomes crystal clear. Thank you really, really silly blog, for lifting the fog! From now on, life will be easy and all my meals will come with extra gravy!

Instead of doing some work, then going for a surf, I can sit alone in a dark room and scribble furiously in a pointless notebook. By telling myself that my petty daily achievements are awesome, I will become awesome, due to the mystical process of Osmotic Bollocks! 

The really, really silly blog even gives some practical tips about what to put into my journal of awesomeness, starting with, "woke up feeling rested for the first time in ages," or "chose a salad over pizza for lunch". Thank you really, really silly blog, for helping me to understand that I can solve all my problems with banality!


The Journal of Awesomeness is a pointless load of drivel, disguised as superficial pyschobabble, wrapped in a layer of utter piffle, with a light sprinkling of rhinoceros peewee! The web guru fartypants industry has reached new highs! What will they come up with next? I can hardly wait to find out! The future is awesome! 


Now where's my journal?

If my point of view offends you, tell me why, then write about how brave you are in your journal of awesomeness. 

Make Millions Selling Weasel Juice To Suckers

Juice a weasel for good health every day

The weasel (Mustela nivalis) is a small and graceful creature that inhabits the hedgerows of the British and European countryside. It is common but crafty, and difficult to capture. The weasel's guile has served it well because country folk have hunted it for centuries thanks to the amazing curative properties of its juice.



Did you know that miracle weasel blood is mentioned in Shakespeare?



In Hamlet, when the tragic hero is crashing about with a hangover he screams, "my kingdom, my kingdom for a weasel smoothie".



Get into the Weasel Zone!


The weasel zone is the popular name for the blissed-out state you sink into after drinking a glass of weasel juice. Sink back and feel the powerful antioxidants purge your blood and polish your bones. Tumours vanish, kidney stones dissolve, finger nails sparkle and hands shrink as the powerful, natural chemicals in weasel juice rebalance your system.



Buy British weasel juice today and help keep our country traditions alive. Did you know that country folk are now so endangered that only three people still speak Wisewomanese? 


With globalisation on our doorstep isn't it nice to know that you can contribute to Britain's heritage by supporting a local industry. Buy weasel juice here today and save Britain and its endangered traditions!


The health benefits of weasel juice are immeasurable. There is so much power in a single weasel that when a laboratory tested our products it exploded and cured every case of cancer within six miles!


Here are the Top Five Reasons to Get Into Weasel Juice Right Now


Appetite Suppression: Drink the pure juice of a raw weasel and you won't feel like eating again for hours. Have you ever seen a fat weasel? No? That is because weasels can eat whatever they want whenever they want because they are made of weasel juice.


Antioxidants: Weasels are so high in anthocyanins, cyanoanthocins and cinoanthocyans that the laboratory that first tested the juice exploded. 


Anti-Ageing: Get one of your five a day from weasel juice and not only will your skin get younger but you hands will shrink back to baby size.


Arthritis Cure: Weasel-juice relieves joint pain and cures arthritis. That is why the druids never had arthritis.


Anti-cancer: Nobody in the jungle ever gets cancer because they all eat weasels every day. In fact, it is all they eat!


WOW! Five top health benefits of Weasels and still on "A"


Here are some more:


High Fibre: Juice your weasel unpeeled and the fur and bones will keep you regular as the summer solstice. 


Essential Fatty Acids: There are as many essential fatty acids in a glass of freshly-squeezed weasel juice as there are in a whole ocean of cod's livers. 


Eliminate Toxins: Weasel juice is mildly purgative so a full glass will cleanse your body of all those nasty toxins that lurk behind your pituitary. There is nothing like a cold glass of pure weasel juice followed by seven house or projectile vomiting to cleanse your system.


Cleanse your colon: Weasels are not just for juicing. Instead of paying for expensive colonic irrigation just pop a couple of live weasels up there overnight for a thorough cleanse. 




Don't just believe us. Here are what some of our customers are saying about this innovative, never before sold product that you can be the first to own:


Mandy from Dagestan says "Thanks to your amazing colon cleansing weasel product I no longer have occasional digestive discomfort. Also, your weasel weight loss program and weasel diet tips have changed my life. I feel so much more confident now that I have a weasel in my colon. Thank you so much, you guys are great".


Mickey from Disney says "I'm walking and talking weasel to everybody and anybody that will listen! Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to get out there and tell the entire world just how wonderful weasels really are. I still don’t believe it! All these stressful years of digestive discomfort problems have come to an end in just a few short days thanks to the weasel in my ass. I have basically addressed the worst part of my life with a weasel. Thanks a million weasels!"

Mitt from Utah says: Well, I'm happy to say that I was introduced to wonderful weasel juice drinks and my blood work went back to normal in sixty days. My chronic hip and knee pain is gone thanks to the injections of weasel serum. Weasels have changed my life!!

Victoria from London W1 says: "Adding weasel juice to my regime of rodent-based supplements has extended my lifespan by over 120 years. I plan to use some sort of weasel product for the rest of eternity. And, I have lost 20 pounds in the last ten days thanks to weasel-therapy".



Jump on-board the latest health food juggernaut before it leaves town. The supply of weasels is limited and you may not be able to buy them for long! 


Weasels are long and thin and stack up perfectly in the freezer. Stock up on weasels now before they go extinct!!!! Get your weasel deal today.


Buy a month-long supply of freeze-dried weasels and get another month free. Our weasels are high in antioxidants and vitamins because we freeze-dry them in the hedgerows with a out patent-pending WeaselFreezer device. Don't pay good money for inferior weasels or cheap stoats as they will not make you live for ever.


Get your weasels here today and get into the:

Weasel Zone

Here at the weasel Institiute For Public Health our weasel scientists are constantly studying the A-AMAZING weasel and creating new products for our weasel sales team to sell. We are always looking for weasel SEO network marketing affiliates to sell our weasel products to the public. Get in on this opportunity to be a weasel partner right now.

All the other Interweb gazillionaires will laugh at you unless you have Ads for weasel juice all over your website. The race is on to produce the first PDF eBook about the miracle weight loss properties of Weasel Juice.

Don't get stuck in the past selling yesterday's acai berries. All the suckers know by now that they don't work! 

Sign up for our Weasel Affiliate Club today and get a free weasel with every weasel order you can weasel up. 

Get Rich By Selling 100 Trillion EBooks

How does the economics of the perpetual-motion, you-buy-my-eBook-and-I'll-buy-yours market work? Is it a sustainable business model that adds to the wealth of the Planet or an absurd merry-go-round that only Charles Ponzi could be proud of?

Let's have a look at the figures of a typical PDF eBook. Even better, let's use mine. My A-AMAZING EBook is called How To Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks. You can but it here for the A-AMAZING price 0f 29.99.

BUY MY ABSURD PDF eBOOK HERE NOW TODAY

FOR 29.99

Let's say I need to sell 100 PDF EBooks a month in order to make a living. That means that 100 people who are interested in Making Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks now know the secrets of my success. Because my eBook is so A-AMAZING they instantly sit down and spend 45 minutes researching and writing their own eBook. The most enterprising ones just change the cover and resell my eBook.

There are 100 people selling eBooks. To make 3000 dollars per month each they need to sell 100 eBooks each for 29.99. That's 10,000 eBooks.

Armed with the knowledge about how to Make Money Selling eBooks About How To Make Money Selling eBooks these 10,000 people all write an eBook of their own. To make a living thy need to sell 100 eBooks each.

That's One million EBooks

To illustrate the absurdity of the PDF eBooks market here is a useful graphic:

1

100

10000

1000000

100000000

10000000000

1000000000000

100000000000000

10000000000000000

1000000000000000000

100000000000000000000

10000000000000000000000 

1000000000000000000000000

100000000000000000000000000
EBOOKS  ARE  A  PYRAMID  SCHEME 

Unless you are pretty damn close to the top of the pyramid you don't stand a chance. Or you have an original idea! But then why would you waste that on a PDF eBook for 29.99.

This blog is lazy, cynical satire! If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

Get Rich With a PDF EBook Full of Waffle and Lettuce

Starting an e-book business is easy! It's so easy that even I could do it in next to no time whatever at all in my spare time for seventeen minutes a day.

I never even planned to have a best-selling PDF eBook. One day I woke up with an idea and just wrote one. There was no need for research because this is the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru industry and nobody needs new information or ideas.

Writing my best selling PDF eBook was the easiest thing I have ever done. I did it before breakfast while brushing my teeth and stroking the cat.

The next thing I knew my PDF eBook called Making Money Before Breakfast While Brushing your Teeth and Stroking the Cat was a best-seller and I was a gazillionaire.

Next, I did waht every SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru does and wrote another eBook with exactly the same stuff in as the first one but another title. I called it How to Make More Money While Cutting Your Toenails and Tickling the Giraffe.

Imagine my shock when nobody wanted to buy me second eBook. I decided that I needed to research the market and went straight to Google. Ten minutes later I had my answer! My second eBook was a flop because everyone in the SEO affiliate marketing network on-line PDF eBook guru niche had given up selling each other PDF eBooks and gone off to find real jobs.

There was only one thing I could do! 

I wrote a PDF eBook about the lack of people wanting to buy PDF eBooks and how to turn this knowledge in to gazillions of dollars.

Nobody bought it!

Now I work for Burger King!!

Are you in a similar position? Has your PDF eBook gurudom dream disappeared? Are you washing lettuce and fantasising about the next get rich quick scheme? If you are, what you need is my PDF eBook called How to Turn Washing Lettuce into a Gazzillion Dollars Using only PDF ebooks!

Buy it now for 29.99 here now for today only at the A-AMAZING price of 29.99.

This article is lazy, cynical satire! I didn't even need to write it! I just cut and pasted it from one of a gazillion websites about making money from PDF eBooks and pimped it up a bit. If my point of view offends you I suggest you write a PDF eBook about it. Just don't expect me to read it!

What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work

The path to SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF Ebook guruland

Are you down to your last 29.99 and no closer to making it as a professional blogger and PDF ebook writer? Does no-one read your tweets or care about your Top Tips posts? Are you so disillusioned by the whole industry that you are considering doing something desperate?

Sometimes it is easy to forget that money grows on trees and that you are only one more Facebook friend away from becoming a six figure blogger with a successful line of PDF ebooks and a beautiful girlfriend. In the darkest moments just before you finally crack the SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook market and make your first gazillion dollars you may be tempted by the dark side.

So many budding SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurus have been lost to temptation! It starts with self doubt and growing debts and slowly ramps up until you feel that you have no alternative but to succumb. Once you step over the threshold there is no going back!

If you find yourself in this position take action fast and click here buy my PDF EBook called:  

What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work.

This is such a fundamental part of SEO affiliate marketing pro-blogger PDF ebook gurudom that I am willing to reveal the contents of the first page free of charge to buy you enough time to spend your last few dollars on my PDF eBook before you have to sit down and do some proper paid work!

Chapter One of What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work

If you ever feel like getting a real job, doing some proper paid work or writing some quality content then quickly do one of the following:

1) Read ten blog posts by top pro-blogger network affiliate marketing on-line gurus to remind yourself how easy it is to be a gazillionaire by doing no work at all and just messing around on Facebook.

2) Write a PDF ebook about your experiences and create a niche blog to sell it from. Spend some of your last 29.99 dollars on dismal, badly written content stuffed with SEO keywords for your niche blog.

3) Buy my PDF ebook about What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work. It is on sale here today for 19.99 just because you are in desperate need and I want to help you. I love you man!

Buy my PDF ebook about What To Do If You Feel The Temptation To Do Some Proper Work by clicking on this link right now before it is too late!